Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
