Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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