I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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