We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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