at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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