I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
