You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
