yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
babies were throwing up all over the place
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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