This is not my ceiling
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she looked like the before picture.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
