did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
