i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Farmville is her only friend.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
