omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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