I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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