i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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