yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
