Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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