I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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