Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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