I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
