woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
