Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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