shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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