I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
