WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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