The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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