3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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