we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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