He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So squirting runs in the family.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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