Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
