you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
