I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
