that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
