we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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