Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
