I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
