Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
