She's JV to your varsity
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
