Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
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I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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