I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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