so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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