I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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