i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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