What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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