you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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