So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
