I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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