haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize