apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
