yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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