it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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