She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
