we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
