It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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