i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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