I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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