I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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