Are we in a gay sports bar?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
