Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
