just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
