Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
