I think my vagina is haunted
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
