it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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