3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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